The Break Up – Our Love Story Part 4

In the weeks that followed I found myself looking for ways to call him.
Each time my phone rang I began to feel butterflies in my stomach.
Each time I pushed them aside.
I knew my current relationship was going no where good and it was time to go out separate ways.
It had nothing to do with Kyle.
This guy and I, well we were already on the rocks with no lighthouse in sight.
I needed to move on, be alone, reconnect with God.
My track record for bad choices had finally caught up with me.

When he and I finally had “the talk” I had already moved on in my head.
It took him longer to reach that place.
In fact he would be in and out of my life for months, although we never got back together.
When it was over I felt relieved.

I just needed space.

The evening after the break up I called Kyle.

He was with friends…
Boys night out. 
“Hi Alissa, what are you up to?” he said, cool and casually.
Hold it together, hold it together
Out of nowhere the tears began to fall,
It wasn’t supposed to go like this.
“What’s wrong? What’s going on?”
I could hear the concern in his voice.
“We broke up.  It was brutal. He’s not happy, but I needed to move on.”
I said it so fast, but in not much more than a whisper that I wasn’t sure if he even heard me.
I just sat there on my couch hoping he hadn’t. That I could take back what I had said.
I’m such an idiot
“I shouldn’t have called,” I said quietly.
“I’m glad you did.  I’m so sorry.”
“Thank you. I’m sorry I called, I guess I just needed to talk to someone.”
Then he said it, “I’m on my way, don’t go anywhere.”
Where was I going to go? I was clearly a mess.
“Ok,” was all that came from my mouth.
Then he hung up….
Read part one, two, three