Stand Still.

My brain has been feeling like it’s on standstill.

Sentences aren’t forming.

Blog posts are swirling around in my brain late and night when I’m falling asleep, only to be forgotten by morning.

I’m going through a point where I feel like maybe I don’t have anything to say that’s worth reading.

And they say it’s always better to take a break when this happens, but even though there are no words, there’s the urge to share.

To make sure I don’t miss those important moments for them to look back on later.

Does that even make sense?

This summer was filled with some amazing memories, but now that school has started I’m looking back and realizing that in the course of the summer both of my babies have grown and changed so much and aren’t really “babies” anymore. Esepcially when I look at Brayden. This summer he got to attend preschool VBS, got a big boy haircut, figured out how to ride his tricycle using the petals, started wearing undies and is now insisting on a Super Hero party in November when he turns 3. WHAT?!! I’m sorry, but that’s just an overwhelming lot for this Mama to take. On top of that Katelyn’s independence is in full swing and she’s spouting off scripture and recognizing letters and attending school 3 days a week.

I guess I’m realizing that while it’s so fun and exciting to watch them grow and change and become the little people God wants them to be, it’s bittersweet because theres a huge faze of my life that’s over and I’ll never personally experience it again. I won’t be pregnant again, have the smell of newborn diapers and baby powder or have those newborn snuggles in the wee hours of the morning.

I’m sure this is the point where you’re all saying, “just have another baby.” Good point, except Kyle and I love having one boy and one girl. We feel our family is complete with 4. I think this is just one of those moments during the course of their lives where I’ll mourn what has passed as I look excitedly into the future. And that’s ok. I’m so thankful to our Heavenly Father for giving Katelyn and Brayden to us, to love, protect, teach, train and nurture.

Do you ever have those days as a mama?